Seasons First Snow

                 I am sitting in my warm and cozy bed in Nainital. The gas heater is working fine. It is chilling cold outside as it began to snow in the morning. Clouds are bursting aloud and rain continue to pour. It is stark silent otherwise. It is this silence I cherish the most. I am also waiting for a video call from my daughter and wife. To have a child is a bliss and when your child makes you wait because she is busy in her pursuits, such wait is beautiful.

                   I feel contend and full of life at these moments. I think about the time which has gone by which is by the way too much of time. So much I have experienced and been through. I treasure such experiences. I have served in the government and at the high echelons of it. During this time, I also mingled with the high and mighty of society and system, but I never felt to be wanting them for the entirety of my life. To be pretentious is not for me. To live a simple life is best for me. I still love to read Ruskin Bond, stories of Munshi Premchand and poems of Mahadevi Verma and the satire and seriousness of Varun Grover. I love to gaze at mountains and also take a deep breath to inhale the moistness of the jungle and soil. The way our life has got too much full of work, tensions and unease, these simple pleasures of life are falling behind. Sometimes, sit in the room and just listen to the silence around, you will love it. I love it. As I have come to believe that if you are calm enough to notice the sound of your own breath, the sound of air going in and out of your body that means you are going good in life. And if you have started to notice the change in weather that means life is going well.

                        We, the middle-class people have been brought up to believe that career is everything. It is true that we cannot chose to ignore it. I did not ignore it. I remember the time I lived for some years in that rented room and resentful atmosphere of Mukherjee Nagar in Delhi. Amidst upheaval of every sort, I will run across the metro stations and ride the crowded trains to attend classes. I remember to this day when I went to appear for the preliminary exam for Haryana Civil Services in the sleepy town of Jagadhari and because all the hotel rooms were full because of the teeming crowd of unemployed youth which had descended in the town for the same exam, I somehow shared a room with a total stranger boy, who was searching a room to pass the night like me.  My eyes became teary as I jostled with the struggle and the inclemency of it. I worked extremely hard, got into good government jobs, which is the epitome of success for any middle-class kid like me. I stayed there for a while but then I decided to walk ahead, explore ahead, take risk and move ahead. Sometimes I do feel the risk I have taken but at the same time I feel so proud of myself that I took a decision as per my own wish. The decision was not to limit the boundaries of my life and to stop exploration. I would like to chase more as indeed chase is better than the hunt. I agree to it. Life may or may not be kind to me in future, but at this moment I am happy. I am proud of the experiences I have had. I have many things to hope for and such hope keeps me going.

                  Life will continue to throw challenges at us and we will have to pierce them through with iron will but gentle demeaner. Life is going too fast for all of us leaving behind a trail of experiences and that trail is precious. Sometimes it is lovely to reflect upon the time which has gone by and to try to record it in words. For the past, let the records be crystal and for the future, the show must go on!

                                                                                      Narayan

                                                                                             (Nainital)

 

Childhood (Part 1)

         As I remember after twenty years, I was about 12 years of age and a 8^th class student of Army Public School, Mathura in the year 1998. A weak student, always disliking school, never able to appreciate much what the teachers taught, hardly able to make friends, absolutely none friends who are girls. The reason is that I also liked to remain aloof and enjoyed my solitude very much. I was not lonely but I loved to be left alone to my pursuits. I would not like to communicate much with other students and likewise the classmates seldom spoke to me. In all, school was a routine thing without any enjoyment. Once in the year, some active souls of the class would prepare with all their heart for the annual fete, I found engaging in it a complete waste of time and energy. I found these fetes too childish and wasteful exercise.

              When in the rainy days of July, when the new session of school started, kids came which great preparation with new school bags, new dress etc. There were kids whose copy and books were always covered neatly with the brown cover paper (Bansi Kagaz) plus some would also wrap plastic cover over that and would also paste their colourful name slips. There were many types of self-sticky name slips like that of Mickey Mouse, Spiderman and Supermen which came at the stationery shop then. On the other hand, I enjoyed just the smell of that new brown paper and loathed to waste time covering books with it and pasting name slips over the books. My books and copies were always unkept and school bag untidy. I loved to sit in the back of the class just wanting that teacher to teach in the front and not come strolling to the back end of the class.

                  In the games period, whole of class would rush to play football in the field. Some boy with leadership skill would take the trouble of running to the games room and getting issued the football for the period. I never cared to even locate where the games room was. In the field also, the whole bunch ran after the hapless football kicking it ruthlessly, while I liked to wait away from the bunch near the goal area so that when the football slips out of bunch and comes near the goal area, I could kick it directly to the goal and have the feel. But the football was rarely released by the boys of the bunch and I found solace in finding some shade near the goal area and chitchatting with goalkeeper boy while others played in the scorching heat.

                 However, I must say that never I had a sense of inferiority than those kids who were considered very bright in studies. In my heart, I always had a firm belief that I will do better than all of them. I do not know why I thought so, as my marks always told a different story. But I considered myself to be an intelligent and sharp kid just not enjoying school books much. I was calculative as to what is gainful and what is wasteful. I was good with people much more in age than me, good in talking to them, convincing them with what I thought. I thought of the world and other countries, of government systems, of how economy matters and pondered over other things you would expect of an adult and not a child. My self-thought intelligence helped me to think of myself in high esteem. 

              I had a middle size atlas cycle which papa bought for me for the convenience of going and returning from school. It was okay, I mean the cycle was okay, as back then we did not have any dream of getting an AC car or other comforts. Normal middleclass kid I was and I behaved like one. Very vividly I remember that when the school was over in the hot afternoon, I would quietly locate my cycle amidst the hundreds of other cycles in the cycle stand of the school and would peaceful ride back home. On the way stopping to drink one chilled Coca-Cola bottle at a paan (beetle) shop. It used to cost ten rupees then and I loved galloping the drink. The feel of drinking Coca-Cola from that chilled glass bottle at that paan shop is one of the best memories of my childhood I have.

              One evening, my father returned from court and informed all the family that he has been transferred to Nainital. As a kid, father’s transfer was always a happy thing for me and brought lot of excitement. Thinking of going to a new place, a new city, the journey which we all will undertake to reach there, new house etc. etc. were all the lovely things which greatly appealed to my child heart. I very eagerly looked forward to leaving Mathura. I told some of the children in the colony that we are going to Nainital and every one gave their ahhs and ohhs as Nainital was thought to be charming hill town in the north of the then Uttar Pradesh. Well, after a few days, the truck was loaded and dispatched for Nainital and we also left Mathura in our Maruti 800.

             Papa had become Chief Judicial Magistrate of Nainital. As government accommodation was not forthcoming, we found residence for initial few days in the Pant Sadan, which was the government guest house then. It is no more there as a few years back it was demolished due to its dilapidated condition.

             Coming to Nainital in around 1999-2000 as a kid was the most wonderful thing. I have vivid memories of that time. So lovely it was. The smell of moistness in the room, moist clothes and moist bedding, the old wooden ceilings of the room, the bright hundred watt bulbs illuminating the room unlike today’s LEDs, the clouds outside the windows so eager to get into the room, the mist and the peaks of mountains to gaze at, the voice of the birds coming from the woods, walk in those woods, the white cheeni mitti crockery of pant sadan, tea in that crockery with butter toast, the mall road, the fine gentry of the mall road, an old age dancer who danced gracefully in the middle of the mall road with his own audio-player, the new and exciting things which were for sale in the shops of  Bhotia Bazaar, the efforts to gather some money so that we may buy something from that bazaar, the bay-window shop infront of the Nainital club (which is still there),the British church and our efforts to sneak into that church,  the horse stand and our tenacity to enjoy ride on the horse back, the boats in the lake, the green water of the lake and our guesses how deep the lake is?, the cold weather, the warm clothes, the room heater and bonfire and what not. It was the time of my life I shall never forget. It was twenty years ago. They were the finest moments of life. The care-free kid roaming here and there in the mountains and in the woods, along the mall road and in the bazaar. A child enjoying his childhood.

             I had no exposure to judiciary back then except seeing father going to court in the morning and coming back in the evening. Once I saw papa coming for lunch in a police jeep and that jeep was flying a red flag with bright ‘E’ written on the flag in golden colour. I asked papa what that flag meant. He answered that ‘E’ means Escort i.e. a police escort for a visiting high court Judge.  I was able to understand and got very tenacious that I should be taken to meet that high court judge. Father said No, not possible. But somehow, I do not know how, father arranged for me to meet the Hon’ble Judge who had come with his family from Allahabad to visit Nainital. Furthermore, the Hon’ble judge’s children, who were quite elder to me, took an interest in me and thought that it was alright if I also join them while they visited various tourist spots of Nainital.  It was absolutely delightful for me. Well, as a child I noted that the respected Judge was always studying, even in the ropeway between mountains he was reading newspaper, while we the children were looking down the deep valley. I do not remember the Hon’ble judge’s name today, but do remember that his daughter to whom I addressed as didi all the time gave an Amul chocolate to me as a parting gift while they departed from Nainital.  It was a happy incident of my childhood.

       Besides these, I have many more memories of my childhood. I remember incidents and time of my childhood very clearly to this day. I do not know if it happens to all of us or not, but I remember so clearly the time which has gone by.  I wish to preserve those memories and therefore am writing all these, as what respected Fali S Nariman would say, ‘Before Memory Fades’.

                                                                                     
                                                                               Narayan                         
                                                                               (Nainital)

Death..

            How painful death would be is something none can ever fathom as that moment is simply unfathomable. None can experience his or her own death. However, howsoever painful death may be, it has to be experienced by each of us. Death would be a final finale and we all has to play it when the time comes. But talking of our own death is still easy than the pain you get from the death of your near and dear one.

               Death is a certain and a cruel thing. My body shakes with fear when I think of this final certainty coming to anyone of my near or dear one. It is hard to write about this thing, but it is a certainty, I will experience in my life. We all experience it. Certainly, those would be the moments when you and I would think what we have achieved or lost in life. All our achievements would mean nothing towards the loss we have incurred. i.e. loss of a life of someone dear to us. Even to think of it is so cruel, God only knows how painful and cruel it would be when it comes to us in reality with its full force.

         Death is an irreversible phenomenon. Someone dead cannot come back. Perhaps that makes it the most painful and cruel event. Anything you wanted to say to her or a chance to touch her, a chance to talk to her, a chance to look at her, hear her or feel her is all gone forever. Her presence is gone. Your sense of her being there is gone. How terribly cruel it is that you would never be able to hear her, see her, feel her, touch her. The melody of voice is gone. The gentle touch is no more there. It is darkness ahead, it is black ahead.

           Everything finishes. Everything just vanishes in that gory moment of Death. Your complaints to her, your compliments to her, your love to her, your hatred to her is all gone. It is just You who remain, she is gone. No matter how hard you cry and how desperately you pray to God, she is not coming back. Nothing can bring her back because she has died. Being bereaved is all what is left in the kitty.

         With all this, I wonder what human life is. We live every day. We aspire every day of our life to achieve something. But what in fact we achieve is nothing. All will be lost one day, no matter how high or down you go in life, someday all will be even and we all will bid farewell to life. It is a hard paradox attached to our lives that we will live but we will die. How desperate we remain in all days and all nights of our life. Our existence in this world is temporary, even then we stake everything to achieve the epitome in this world. That epitome would be temporary, even then we do every thing we can to achieve it.

              When we look at old photographs, what we see in them.  Just a time gone by and memories. They are good memories, best time of our lives, but all gone away in a flash because indeed time is flying. We are living our life every day but even then, it is such a fast show. Each day and each night is passing by at its normal pace but still it will feel like as how fast the journey was when the curtains are finally drawn. At the end of all these days and nights, it will be a ‘life’ went away in a flash. Think about it! It is slow ‘life’ yet in the end a very fast trip.

           ''ye duniya agar mil bhi jaye tau kya hai!!...." Hear this piece by Piyush Mishra.
                                  

                                                                                                       Love, 

                                                                                                       Narayan

                                                                                                      (Nainital)

Life Goes On....

One of the most wonderful movies I watched recently. A wonderful movie with a true and real message. I had seen this movie about two years back also and tried to write something about it then but just couldn’t. I saw it today again and it was beautiful to see it.

However, I could not accept with the central message that Life goes on, because simply it does not in many cases. Life does not go on like that. It is just not that simple. Some things change you fundamentally, they shake you up, they twist and turn your most inner self, your deepest inner core gets changed, and your thoughts change, your ideas change, and your convictions receive the hardest blow and things like that.

But yes, life goes on after all such change, because you simply do not stop to live i.e. you do not stop to take breath, you do not stop to eat, to sleep and even laugh and cry sometimes. Whatever tragic event may happen in your life, you do not cease to live. That is a thing both to rejoice and to be felt sad about. Tragedies may strike you at any moment of life. At the times, you think you are invincible, they strike you right then. You feel sadness of the deepest nature in those times of tragedies. You are left behind. Every thing seems to be lost and is in fact lost. The dreams which you may have tendered with great love and care may just vanish with cruelty of the time which tragedy brings. You in fact loose every hope and tears are the only recourse. However, even in the tears you continue to breath. You continue to take air in and out of your lungs and thus life goes on. You are like that poor and shabby beggar whose begging pot had been kicked by some cruel passerby, but still the beggar with his shaking hands collect the coins felt here and there and put them back in his pot so that his life may goes on. Life has to go on, you may fall silent and changes may haunt you, but still like that hapless beggar you have to live and carry on. Some how, you have to carry on because there is no other choice. Life is all you have and thus you have to carry on. 

Life is the ultimate feeling of your existence. What else is so profound with you, nothing except your life. Life may be a mystery but at the same time there is no other beautiful thing in this world than Life. And yet some lives may not be that beautiful. Some lives may not turn out to be what was expected. But what to do, it is life. What the French would say C'est la vie. You cannot control life, you cannot plan it. The misery of life is as a truth as the beauty of life. Let life unfold the way it has to unfold. Just keep sailing in it. Do your best to live life, because that is the only option we have. We all want a perfect life, but life may not be that kind to all. But that does not mean that life is not beautiful. It is indeed beautiful. The human life is such a beautiful thing that no one perhaps could ever sum up how beautiful it is to be having breath in your lungs, to feel the warmth of the Sun, to feel the coldness of the breeze, to be contended, to be trying, to be exclaiming, to be laughing, to be crying, to be rejoicing, to be saddening. This all is the beauty of life. We are here to have as many shades of experiences as we can. 

For me, I wish my life to be a marvellous statement of experiences, as diverse and divergent as they can be. At the end, I wish to have a grand story of my life which is full of experiences of life itself. Nothing else, I aspire for. As I always believe that Experiences, good or bad, alone will be our treasure. Life alone shall be my treasure. 

To end, the beautiful music in the movie is just wonderful. Hope you love it as I do……

Bengal is where my heart is!

           I always had such a respect or rather a feeling of reverence for Bengal and it’s people. Coupled with reverence, a sense that Bengal is  mystically beautiful also come up in my mind whenever I hear or read something about Bengal. And what to say of Bengali people, I find them to be the nicest people India has. Have you ever listened to a Bengali boy or girl talk and especially a girl talking in Bengali, it is the sweetest thing to witness and one of the most soothing voice your ears will ever hear. In languages, I love listening to russian poetry as well but  if I compare listening to russian and listening to bengali (though both are greek and latin to me ), I would love to hear bengali more and more. Nothing parallels the charm of listening to our sweet bengali people talking.

             Now coming to bengali people, no body can dispute that there is something unique in them which makes them special. First things first, bengali people have always been known for their  intellect and I believe that the tradition continues till today.  If you look, the genesis of modernity in the India of 18^th Century or so happened in Bengal. After all the great Raja Ram Mohan Roy was from Bengal and so was Ishwar Chand Vidya Sagar. Not only that, the revolutionaries activities too started in Bengal, for example the Anushilan Samiti and it’s members like Kudi Ram Boss and Prafulla Chaki, they were bengali too with a distict genre of revolutionary spirit. Arbindo Ghosh is another fine name. On the top of all sits the most reverent Rabindra Nath Tagore, whom I regard as one of the finest people India will always be proud of. His lines where the head is held high… are so inspiring for me whenever I read them, in fact they are the best lines I find, the most influential  use of language you will ever go through, something similar to the awe and inspiration you get by reading the lines of American Declaration of Independence.  In today’s times, I heard so many times Pranab Mukherjee presenting budget in the Parliament, it is so lovely to watch him speak, he is a combination of intellect and sweetness, otherwise intellectual people are so infamous for being so seriously boorish. Come more closer, what a delight it is to hear Amartya Sen speak or sometime read his works, that is a true intellect expressed in words.

                      Moving further, you find that Bengal was the cradle of our independence movement too. The Swadeshi Movement of 1905  is known to be the first organized movement India witnessed, though it slipped into a revolutionary movement at later stages, but the way it was organized in the beginning is a matter of great appreciation. Women came out on streets in the times of 1905 and they were respectfully given a place by the fellow people in the movement. See the beauty of bengali people that in their movement also, they could not do away with literature and poetry. Amar Shonar Bangla… which is the national anthem of Bangladesh originated in this movement only and was crafted by none other than Rabindra Nath Tagore. Move further, we know that Bengal played a important role in the national movement till the very last be it 1921 Non Cooperation Movement or the Civil Disobedience of 1932 or the Quit India of 1942.

                 Moving on to their culture, though I don’t know much about that, but still it is one of the loveliest India has to offer. I had just looked at some photos of one of my friends from  west bengal and how cute it is to find that they call the festival Durgo Pujo, not Durga Puja. I loved to pronounce that again and again. And then we all know the Roshogullas of Bengal are famous, in fact my mouth just started watering while I wrote that...haha. How beautiful it is notice the big red bindi, women in bengal put on their forehead. Or see a bengali marriage taking place (again I have seen that in Facebook photos only.), it is such a wonderful chain of rituals. Moving further there can not be any end to appreciating bengali culture if we start talking about rabindra sangeet and rabindra paintings.

            Well, there may be so many other things in the land of Bengal, a land which I didn’t have the fortune to visit till now. Wish I will go to Kolkata soon, see the yellow cabs and the trams and the white uniformed police and the Ganges and the jute cultivation and eat roshagullas and do things after things after things. I have such a intense desire to also go the Kalibari Temple, where none other then the famous son of India Vivekananda and his guru Swami Ram Krishna Paramhansa lived their life, how blissful that place would be I can only think sitting here so far in Nainital.

          What inspired me to write all this so suddenly while many other works are pending on my desk is my good fortune to meet yesterday somebody very charming from the land of Bengal and then many things about which we talked and talked and talked. And then suddenly, there is a book review of a new  biography of Raja Ram Mohan Roy published in latest issue of India Today which too is open right at my desk. See even today Raja Ram Mohan Roy is being read, discovered and rediscovered and explored…. I am right in saying so many letters of praise for the land of Bengal and it's people.
             To conclude, I am adding this little piece of music from Bengal, I have always loved listening to this fine music and I am sure you will too....

Whither Development?

        Development is something we all aspire for. Nations are busy in devolving themselves. Even those who have reached zenith of development have not stopped pursuit to develop further. Development will never satiate the needs of development consumers i.e. we the humans.  
    But as we all will agree that development is not a unidirectional phenomenon, it is multi-pronged, multi-dimensional and having countless expressions. The physical development or what we call ‘Infrastructural development’ is the highest priority in developing countries as no doubt countries have changed their destinies and lives of millions by merely creating infrastructure in the country or the physical development. China and Dubai are the best examples of it. And other nations like India are working round the clock to gain it.

       But there are so many other dimensions to development. As of now I like to write about intellectual development or what we can call the development of mind and the development of ideas, of thoughts, of thinking patterns, of traditions, of values and so on. In nutshell, the invisible development, the intangible development, something which you cannot see but certainly can feel.

    Now, which society or nation is worthy of being called developed. One who excels in physical development or one who excels in the intangible infrastructure I wish to talk about. The questions sounds very simple so does it’s answer. In a fit of romanticism, anybody will go for the development of mind as the supreme development. But another point is that if you become realistic and shun romantic thoughts about the great ideas of justice, equality and equity, then certainly physical infrastructure will take a edge. Now here it is very difficult to prove the later point to those who have never actually felt the misery of having little or no physical development. Well, no more elucidation on these two views, and let me say what I am thinking about.

       What prompted me to write today was a session of some talks with people who are highly educated, who are occupying chairs of honour and respect, they are reasonably rich too, they talk high and loud in terms of that what should be done to India to make it more developed and above all they are complacent people regarding the ideas they possess and the views they broadcast. But for me it was such a pity to have a glimpse of their minds and to hear their views about many topics which for me comprise that invisible development, the intangible development.

      I don’t understand why Indian society is not allowing the penetration of ideas which in one word be called modern (I don’t mean western). This is despite the fact that efforts to inculcate modernity started almost two hundred years ago in India. The efforts of Raja Ram Moham Roy, of Ishwar Chandra Vidya Sagar, of Sir Syed Ahmad Khan and those of Rabidranath Tagore started centuries ago but still their ideas are all Greek and Latin to many of the Indians or rather majority of Indians. Listen to the views of these people about woman, about what is woman empowerment and what is gender quality. Listen to views of people about the supremeness and infallibility of those so called Indian Values, Invite the views of people about caste, listen to them regarding self –suiting Indian culture on marriage, children and divorce etc. listen to them regarding religion, it looks like India was never ever the land which sometime produced thinkers like Tagore and philosophers like Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan Their views are still rudimentary to core, unflinching in their belief, extreme in their darkness and above all unwilling to change and avoiding all talks of change. Is this that India for which Tagore wrote his poem calling for that heaven of freedom where India shall awake, is this the land where words are coming out from the depth of truth? Is this the land where the mind is without fear and the head is held high. Today after listening to the views and ideas of those people, I shook my head in shame that My India is still not free from the shackles of ignorance and the chains of complacency. Even in this century of reason, there are people for whom what is reason is nothing but the dark tradition and darker values for which they stand and will not change. May hundred Tagore(s) be born in this land, but we will not change.

            It was painful to see, pitiable to ponder upon that how narrow minded people can be. How resentful to change they can be. A subject as private as religion determines every thing in India from your birth to death. Is life a flow of reason or religion? Unfortunately People in India will still live and die for religion than for reason. Someday before Andre Beteille wrote a article to argue that constraints of castes have eased in India, but I say not every where it has happened, caste may have been deleted on paper, but it is still so relevant in minds of people. Woman is still not liberated in India, things like women empowerment are still resisted. If you talk to how women have been mistreated in our society, then they will claim that they were not mistreated but rightfully treated as that is the treatment they deserve. They will invoke the words of mythological texts to prove their point and thus for them when mythology speaks all should shut up. Come to the great values which again many people will live and die for. Values which are not touched by reason what to say of originating from reason. Youths still carry on with the structured aims and see the doctored dreams. Many enter into the covenant of marriage and remain in that covenant just out of unreasoned social values and customs. It is so painful to see all this going on in our society. I understand many societies have gone through such things, the British society too in 18th Century was mistreating woman as is reflected by novels of Jane Austin and those of Mary Wollstonecraft . But change did occur in these societies and they left all those things behind. But Why it is taking so long for us, I don’t understand. If this is our pace, I don’t know how long we will take.

        What emanates respect from me for European societies is the sense of Justice, and the ideas of equality and equity, and those of freedom they have been maintaining for so long. I respect them for that. However some months back while talking to a girl from Portugal she did say that not everything is not so good, but I still say those societies are million years ahead of us. What I will admire about these societies is that they have managed to live upto those ideas of freedom and fairplay and have indeed excelled in that intangible development. But caution myself and caution you, that European societies are causing loss to this achievement when you find that they discriminate on the basis of colour. Their practice of racism is not good in this perspective. But I understand, that this distinction between black and white owe it’s origin to economy rather than social mindset.

          To conclude, my vote goes for the development of ideas, thoughts and thought processes. I believe that a society which has not witnessed this intangible development will remain a underdeveloped society no matter how much roads, bridges and electricity you built. I will go on to the extent of saying that a nation who cannot adopt reason over religion and where spirit of inquiry and inquisitiveness donot become the order of the day will never be able to cause any other kind of development. Oh My countrymen and women! Let us not be left behind, let us not be complacent, let not our optimism fade, let us not fail and forget the ideas and vision with which we started our journey to take our country into that heaven of freedom where she rightfully belongs.

Kazakhstan Diaries...

                      So, as it is, I am sitting in Kazakhstan right now, in the City of Almaty. Almaty is the largest city of Kazakhstan and till 1997 it also served as the capital of this country. Other details one can always access on the Internet, so let me say what I feel to be in this good city.

                    Firstly, the silence which strikes to my ears, and which I love. It is so calm, quiet and silent here that your body and mind come at peace just by sitting here. For example, reading a book here, or writing this blog or listening to music is far more enjoyable here than it is back in the crowded cities of my India. Thus I am loving it. Loving to hear the sound of wind blowing outside my window and seeing the trees shake to the tune of the wind, loving to notice that I can hear the sound of my breath, loving to close my eyes and just feel this moment of silence. This is perfect for me. My mind at rest, my body at rest amidst deep silence. Of course, such moments take you to the past time of your life, so you feel nostalgic about the good moments. You also think about the moments which were not so good and then try to think what went wrong. You keep thinking about times of your life, about the experiences you have earned so far. You write your diary, listen to some good song, and then again just sit to enjoy this silence. So, this is me in Almaty.

               Second thing which one will easily notice is fewer people around. Coming to cities like Almaty have made me feel that how the explosion of population bomb in our country has marred every development we have made, have spoiled the quality of life which people could have had, have made our cities unbearable and congested. No amount of infrastructure created is being enough to cater to the needs of teeming millions. See the example of Delhi Metro, an icon of urban development, but the million crowd which struggle nay fight to get in and get out at every station tell us that how our gigantic population has negated the pleasure of development. I walk here along the roads and avenues which are almost empty, such empty avenues are a rarity in India. I recall some writer saying in his book about India as where there are always people eating, people walking, people sleeping, people coming, people going and people, people and people all around. Trains are full, streets are full, jobs are full and so on. I donot want to go into statistics but still see this that the population of Kazakhstan is around One and Half Crore and Population of India as It stood in 2011 Census is One Hundred and Twenty One Crore, so there lies an oceanic difference. Likewise population density is about 6 persons per square kilometer in Kazakhstan to that of 382 persons in India. The statistics and figures may go on and on but the simple point is that such exponential growth in our population is the root cause of almost all the problems we face today. Though the growth rate at 17.5% in the last decade has been the lowest, but still we need to seriously do something it. Let’s see how it happens!

                    Another thing about Kazakhstan is that majority of the people in this country follow Muslim religion. But you don’t feel like being in a Muslim Country. It is altogether a different genre of Islam, an extremely relaxed, tolerant and liberal face of Islam, which is sadly not found in many other Muslim countries. As I see Kazaks have been able to minimize religion in public life, which I believe supports development and good life. Though people say that in the rural areas, religion is still very important part of ones life, but still it is not in any way used to create absurd rules of social and individual control. So the tyranny of religion as I see is absent here, this is another good thing I noticed about Kazak people.

                 Another thing I learnt today on my visit to the National Museum is that Kazakhstan is a fairly diverse nation. Though the majority is of Kazak people, but there are many other communities like the Russian, Ukrainians, Uzbeks, Turks, Jews, Germans and many others. In the national Museum there is a section showcasing Diasporas in Kazakhstan, where one can see the dresses of different communities found in Kazakhstan. Though Kazakhstan is not that diverse as India, but it is diverse enough. And most important thing to know is that these all communities live peacefully here, there has been no situation of conflicts or riots among people from different communities.

               There are many other things which I am experiencing here during my sojourn. All is all; I must say life is good here. I never thought that Almaty would be so developed, so well planned and green city. People seem to be happy here and enjoying life. I wonder when Indian cities would be like this.

Once Upon a time in New York.

                 A boy was sitting there on one of the beautiful benches of the beautiful central park in New York. He was fresh off the boat in this wonderful city. Of Course! He was exited and happy. He was loving the way people walk to go to work in Manhattan, the way he could sit in the open park restaurants and drink coffee while listening to others’ conversations and also the sirens of NYPD trucks, the way some couple would ask him to click a picture of them and he will happily and proudly do so, the way he was riding sub-ways and buses to go to places, the way he was managing to expend limited dollars he had, the way he was making plans to visit every part of the Big Apple, the way a complete stranger will say Hi to him and he will smile and respond with hello. There was something new, something different about this time of his life. After all, it was his very first time when he had come so far from his country and that too he came to America and that too to New York. That night when he stood at the top of the empire state, he was surely the king of the world. When a long lost friend from his country met him in New York and he spent a few hours with her, he was breathing happiness. For him life couldn’t be better as he walked and walked to every bit of Manhattan while asking strangers for directions and with the aid of the map he had.

                     So one day he was again roaming here and there admiring every thing around him, and then thought of resting for sometime and thus walked into the Central Park. A bit hungry he was, so he bought a Coke, which the Americans call soda, and he bought a hot dog without the meat part i.e. just bread and then walked into the park, settled on a bench and started eating the bread while watching what other people were doing. People were in jolly mood, they were walking around, some old people were reading news papers, and some kids were running around, the guitar player was there playing guitar as people walked by putting some one dollar or so in his guitar case. It was time of the late afternoon and the breeze was gentle and the time was splendid. Having finished his bread, he started drinking his coke with all the peace of mind and relaxed his body by half lying on the bench. He was just enjoying the exquisite time with his eyes almost closed.

                 “Hello, may I sit here?” came the feminine voice. The boy surprisingly looked above and saw a young girl asking that. With a bit of stammer he replied, “Oh Yes! Of Course Please” while coming to the sitting position from the half lying one and narrowing his New York Times pages which were occupying other half of the bench. And there she sat sharing the bench with him. Oh God!! What is this; the boy thought as she was unbelievably beautiful and looked charming. Sitting with still stranger girl, his peace of mind vanished and he could not still believe that a beautiful New York girl asked to sit beside him. While it may be very normal for people to ask to sit on the same bench you are sitting already, but it was not normal for that boy as he was still just a boy. Well, as it was, the boy regained his confidence and sat properly thinking what to do next. While pretending to read the newspaper, he looked at the girl again and she looked at him and gave a welcoming smile. As he saw her properly, she was wearing a jeans and top and a distinguishably noticeable chain around her neck. All in all she was pretty. And she was carrying a small dog with her.

So, having nice time hah.. said the girl.

His heart had pounded again, but he was ready to converse. Oh yes! Very nice time, I am loving it. Your city is great… said the boy.

Your city, what do u mean, is this not your city too?

Oh no, I am new, infact this is my first week in New York and first week in America.

Oh really… I see… where are you from?

From India… I guess you must have heard about it.

Oh yes I have… I have heard so much about India and you know I always want to go there... let’ see when I go.

Yeahh…. hmmmm…. Yes I guess every body has heard something about India.

So, you visiting states for??????

Oh I am attending a seminar in Boston, and I had some good friends in New York, so thought of living in this city too.

Oh great! Where are you living in New York?

In Queens… you know the silent part of New York… the boy said smilingly.

Oh yes I know… well... I live in Manhattan… but go there sometimes.

By the way my name is_________ said the girl offering her hand

Oh my name is__________ said the boy with a warm handshake.

So for many days are you here…

Ahhh… 15 more days... I have lots of time to pass in your city…. said the boy with laughter.

Oh great!!! That’s wonderful... have you seen this..? have you seen that…? the conversation went about the different parts of New York the boy has not seen yet and the girl went on narrating about them and telling him about them, ways and directions to visit them. The boy was not listening to her. The boy was deep into the way she was speaking, noticing her hands, her eyes, her lips and every thing about her.

Well…the girl stopped speaking after some time and she started to feed her puppy while kissing him frequently. Oh! Thought the boy, the sweet conversation has stopped. But! Boy wanted to talk more, wanted to listen more.

So he said... did your grandparents also come from some foreign country or you are purely an American, I have read that America is clearly a land of migrants and the toiling of these migrants have made this country great. Having seen the immigration museum at the Ellis Island two days ago, this was the only a bit philosophical and deep question he could come up with.

Ahhha… the conversation resumed, as the girl found it interesting to talk on this subject and to reveal about her family lineage.

My grandfather came from Turkey, said the girl.

Ah turkey… wow…. the bosphorus bridge, the Ottoman Empire, Kamal Pasha, the caliphate, the city of Istanbul etc.etc…exclaimed the boy (Thanking God in his head that he had studied something about Turkey).

Wow!! You are smart... said the girl.

The boy swelled further with pride... and said Oh yes! I like to read about countries…

I know you are smart… said the girl again.... and took out her cell phone…Can I take a picture of you, asked the girl? The boy delightedly smiled as she clicked and saved the picture in her phone. The boy too clicked pictures of her using his travel camera he was carrying….. the charming moment was seized forever by both of them.

So back home do you have a girlfriend? Asked the girl…

Yeah I have…. We go to same college.

Oh Wow that is so cool and romantic... you study together.

Yeah…… nodded the boy again…

Do you have a boyfriend? Asked the boy hesitantly…

The girl smiled with warmth and said…. well…. not now….. I had a boyfriend… but now I am single… she again smiled with affection…

However, the conversation was again punctured by her puppy. The dog just jumped of her lap and ran. Before she could stand and run after him, the boy got up with the lightening speed to chase the puppy and caught him and returned to the bench. But this time, Puppy’s lap had changed; now he was into boy’s lap. The girl while thanking the boy started lovingly running her hand over her puppy. This brought the girl further close to the boy, as the dog was still in his lap.

Wow!! Thought the boy! This is going good. ‘Let us go for dinner or drinks or something somewhere’, thought the boy in his mind, thinking of saying it to the girl in next few minutes.

I really love my______ (Dog’s name), he is sweetie pie… and the girl showered another ten adjectives and nouns for the dog.

Yeah yeah... nodded the boy….

You know when I take him with me in subway; he sits in my bag like a nice boy. The girl said…

What…. in the subway… are you allowed to take him..??.. you know in Delhi’s Sub-way animals are strictly not allowed… you know these animals…

ANIMAL !!! shouted the girl.. how dare you call him an Animal, he is not an Animal… you are so insensitive and rude… the girl just shot back on the boy snatching his puppy out of boy’s lap. All the goodness was gone, all the perfectness of the moment vanished. The girl was furious and collected her things to leave immediately. The poor boy could not understand her addiction with her dog and began saying sorry for a number of times.

But the girl did not calm down, she was angry and boy’s apologies could not melt her anger. In anger she got up and left even with out saying good bye… she did not even turn back to look at the boy, her puppy did turn his neck, but she did not.

And yes she was gone!!! Gone like she never came!!! The poor boy became sad and disappointed, after all he was just a boy. The evening was on her maturity and the dusk was fast approaching. In that twilight dark, the sad boy stood up, left the park, took the sub-way and came back home learning an important lesson that he was still a boy but perhaps that girl was a lady.

Some Poetry Sometimes...

As I Drowned under the Sun....

“I stand alone in a vast field under the Sun

My eyes see nothing but a distant mirage

My ears listen nothing but the sound of silence

My body feels nothing but the rays of Sun piercing into it

Impossible it seems that I shall cross the field

Possible it looks that I shall fail

As the Sun boils further and the heat strengthens

I close my eyes seeking God, but I see you instead

My head shiver in fear,

My eyes start to harbour tears

With my legs shaking and my body fainting

I lie down on the parched Earth under the cruel Sun

My life says no more struggles, But Surrender

Here Oh God! I miss no soul on Earth but you my dear.”

                                                      
                                                                          - Narayan Gupta

Time and Technology

           Of late I wrote a mail to a very dear friend of mine and thereof the relation between these two unique features attached to human life struck to my mind. The plot is that we were not in touch for quite some months as she left India and lives in another country and so it seemed that time (and also geography) has devoured our friendship and thus it seemed time has triumphed. But No, see the technology of E-mails and internet, I wrote a mail to her, and found that technology allows me to trounce the time. So this tussle between the time and the technology became a fodder for my mind for some hours and I wrote things in my diary but I think I should again use technology and write it here on this e-diary. Haha…

             Well…I don’t think that there is anything more deep and pervasive in a human’s life than the time of his life, and the technology which surrounds him or which he discovers. If I put it in other words, time is something which is so ubiquitous and so omnipresent. It is more omnipresent than the air, because if you leave Earth you may not find air but the time is there with you. Time may even not be measured by the english words like eternal or continuous as no body's knows the origin of time. For a thing to be eternal, it has to be originated at any point of time in the past. So this point of time in the past defeats the ability of word eternal to qualify the nature of time. You can trace the history of the Earth or the Moon or the Sun or the cosmos or the stars or even of this universe, But can you trace the history of time? I don't think so.

           One may say that the human in itself is a universal phenomenon because no matter where you go either in the annals of time or is the directions of geography, you will find a human with universal characteristics. This universal human argument can also be argued for all the other organisms that even preceded human and exist till date. But I will disagree and say that the human universality can be challenged easily and if argued for a particular human, then it stands on an even more thinner ice. In the former, we can see that time was not the hostage of humanity as a whole as it was there even when the earth was not created and the cosmos were still is their primitive age which we (the science humans) have divided accordingly. And as I said, the latter argument is by itself defeated when we see that time is not effected by the birth and death of a human or any other organism or even a non-organism. I think time is the only thing or feature which can claim to be universal, otherwise universality of all those final truths which the humans have always believed to be nothing else but the truth can be challenged and for that matter has always been challenged by the great minds of humanity. So, I hold that time is supreme and its supremacy was never challenged and will remain unchallenged forever.

          Now thinking of technology, the first query which comes to my mind is that; why technology was invented?Was it invented to save time or to trounce the time or was it invented irrespective of the time factor and the saving of time (which looks like the defeat of time) was just a consequent offshoot of it. The answer is hard to find. Now it is easy to argue that necessity being mother of invention is also the mother of technology. But I think that this often quoted quotation is not the suprema lex and that in the invention of technology, necessity was not the sole driving force. I myself don’t have a convincing answer to the query I raised, but still I believe that the settled notion needs a second thought and a deeper analysis.

          To be Continued…. (Too tired to type now, it’s 5 in the morning..).. I have a write about as to who wins between the time and the technology and how in this win human stands as nothing but a tomfool... BUT LATER.......